STUFF NIGHTMARES ARE MADE OF

Not spiders this time.  Nope.  Sorry.  This is the stuff nightmares are made of - although spiders do that to me too.  So does deep water - and heights for that matter.  Flying has much the same effect and small spaces.  But this - this was different.  I had a horrible - the most horrible nightmare the other night.  And it wasn't even after watching a horror movie - which I admit that I do enjoy.  They are usually too unrealistic to believe and I generally laugh throughout.  Even those suspense ones that are supposedly modelled on real stories - real events that took place.  Even that I can handle - simply by brainwashing myself to believing that - nahhh - it's all fake.  It might not be fake but telling myself that is the only way I can relax about it.  

But the other night - oh no.  The difference - this one sprang from reality.   MY reality.    Damn it.  And it could happen again.  But that's not stopping me.

As is well known I am fighting bullying.  And again as is equally well known I am a past victim of this.  My book 'Bullseye' is to do with my fight.  And just last year I did an article for one of Australia's national magazines about this - a tiny bit of my own experience was mentioned, but apart from that, I have never really said anything about my own nightmare. 

Recently, I had the wonderful honour of befriending another author in Australia - I am actually establishing contact with quite a lot of authors world wide, some very well known, others new to the business.  All are absolutely fantastic people.  One in particular, when I mentioned her successful debut novel and that I stick to non-fiction as my imagination and creativity usually fail badly if I try to write using those.  This wonderful lady then stunned me and mentioned that her book is based on her life experience.  She then suggested that I do the same thing with my bullying experience.

So I am.  I have begun a novel based on my own experience.  And have realised this is the first time I have really opened up about it.  About the whole thing.  Everything will be revealed in this book which I am hard at work on - a huge labour of love, believe me.  I am currently writing the introduction - taking a walk through my few visits back to the school - and the memories are zooming back.  Some of them really surprising and scaring me - a few incidents which I had completely and absolutely forgotten.  And they didn't necessarily involve my bullies........